Time (Well) Wasted?


There are many ways to run away from yourself, and Angry Birds is just one of them.  But you can also use Angry Birds as a counterbalance, kind of like making up for lost time.  Let’s see how.

By the way, have you heard of Angry Birds?  It’s an iPhone application in which a bunch of – surprise, surprise – angry birds, attempts to destroy a group of sniggering green pigs hiding out in buildings constructed of various materials.  The birds do it by being launched (by you) from a catapult.  You win points  for every pig poked and pounced upon, and you get a chance to progress to the next level once you’ve killed all of this level’s porkers.  Kind of like all the other video games ever made, only with different adorable characters.

It’s a very entertaining one of many timewasters – I had a go recently, and it’s no wonder it’s played for 200 million minutes per day.  It’s addictive.  You really want to show those little bacony buggers, and you really want to get the angles right, and you really want to progress to the next level.  It’s a matter of pride, and silliness. 

But, 200 million minutes?  A day?

No, I don’t know where they get the stats – the Magic Maths Professors banged up in a belfry somewhere with their batty calculators.  I did a little recalculating and found that 200 million minutes is 381 years of playing

Every day.

That’s fine.  If the 50 million downloads equal 50 million people, then it averages out to only 4 minutes per day per person.  But, you know, with averages, well, there are extremes at either end of the bell curve. 

Where do you think you fall on the bell curve of time (well?) wasted?  

Here’s something to consider: how about using another 4 minutes of your day to counterbalance the fuming feathers with some mindful breathing to ease you into your mindful day?  Try 4 minutes of simple following of your breath, in and out, in and out.  Breathe.  Relax. 

Imagine how much more peaceful the world would be with 381 years of calm, mindful energy breathing in and out every day.  Sounds good to me.

And remember: you’re a long time dead, grasshoppers.

And furthermore, remember this: Yes, a kiss is still a kiss, and you should go now and give one to your favourite person, animal, place, or thing.

But in addition, remember always: Memoir = Life = Now.

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